


I Want To Be More Than Friends

by perhapsitsem



Category: My Babysitter's A Vampire
Genre: 2020 au, Agender Character, Erica and Sarah mentioned, Genderfluid Character, Kinda, Other, Pansexual Character, i don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25595275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perhapsitsem/pseuds/perhapsitsem
Summary: Rory was used to being the expendable friend. The one that was fun to hang out with in a group, but no one ever wanted to be with just them. They knew that in 6th grade when all of their friends dropped them to try to be popular. They knew that in 8th grade when they were the only one in their friend group not invited to stay the night after a party. They knew that the day before freshman year when the only person they thought they could count on broke off their friendship because after Rory came out as pan, he thought Rory had romantic feelings for him. They did but that’s beside the point.
Relationships: Erica Jones & Rory Keaner, Rory Keaner & Ethan Morgan & Benny Weir, Rory Keaner/Benny Weir, Sarah Fox/Erica Jones
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rory's agender, pan and uses they/them pronouns. Benny's genderfluid, pan and uses xe/xim and he/him pronouns (but only xe/xim during this fic). Ethan's a bi transman who uses he/him pronouns. Erica and Sarah are both cisgirls, bi, an duse she/her pronouns.
> 
> tw: discussion of eating disorder
> 
> 1333 words

A state of melancholy washed over the usually hyperactive Rory Keaner. Moments before, they laughed along with Ethan and Benny, two of their best friends. But all of a sudden realizations crashed over them like a tidal wave. The first drop being that they were sitting on the floor.

Rory always sat on the floor whenever the trio was hanging out. Rory thought it was because they were used to it, or that maybe it was because there wasn’t space on the bed next to Benny and Ethan. But no, they could definitely scoot over. There’s no logical reason, why the three of them couldn’t all sit up there, Rory thought. But the reasoning isn’t logical, it’s emotional, Ethan and Benny preferred each other over them.

Rory was used to being the expendable friend. The one that was fun to hang out with in a group, but no one ever wanted to be with just them. They knew that in 6th grade when all of their friends dropped them to try to be popular. They knew that in 8th grade when they were the only one in their friend group not invited to stay the night after a party. They knew that the day before freshman year when the only person they thought they could count on broke off their friendship because after Rory came out as pan, he thought Rory had romantic feelings for him. They did but that’s beside the point.

Rory had suspected it when they entered a friendship with Ethan and Benny, and then with Sarah and Erica. They had become comfortable with this friend group. They thought they could trust everyone, and everyone felt the same about them. They must be wrong, though.

Maybe it’s because they knew that halfway across town Sarah and Erica were on their second date, completely infatuated with each other. Maybe Rory was finally seeing how similarly Erica acted with Sarah as Ethan was acting with Benny. They couldn’t stop touching each other, looking at each other. Ignoring Rory.

Fuck.

Benny and Ethan were talking about some tv show that Rory hadn’t gotten around to watching yet. They silently excused themself to the bathroom, neither noticing they had left. They locked the door, and turned around, sliding down to the floor.

A single tear broke from their eye, others soon to follow. It hurt that none of their friends cared about them. But Rory could recover from that. They had so many times before, what’s once more? But what really broke them this time was that it was Benny. Rory had begun to suspect that they had a crush on Benny about a month prior. Rory had never been in love, so they didn’t really know what it felt like, but they were pretty sure they were in love with Benny.

Rory let out a sob. They quickly tried to stifle it, to be silent as they always did when they were alone. The last thing they wanted was to worry their friends. Or make them pity them. If the two of them saw them like this… If Benny saw them like this… Crying over some pathetic overreaction? Rory would have to explain, and as soon as they found out that they had feelings for Benny, they’d be appalled and they’d be kicked out of Ethan’s house. Benny would be embarrassed by them and not talk to them at school. The two of them would tell Erica and Sarah. Maybe Erica would still hang out with them. When she wasn’t with her girlfriend. Who she never wanted to be apart from. Rory would have to eat lunch in the library for the rest of the year again. They’d have to wait until the next year to try to find another friend group. They’d have to hide their true self, because they were pretty sure that they’d run out of groups who’d be accepting of an agender, pansexual, they/them kid. They’d stop wearing skirts, they’d wipe off the nail polish, and quit correcting people when they misgendered them, so hopefully no one would remember who they really were by the time Autumn came around. Rory had already accepted their fate.

Rory was suddenly aware that the talking and the laughter from Ethan’s room had stopped. They tried to silence their tears more. They couldn’t find out. They couldn’t find out. They couldn’t find out. They couldn’t find out. Rory began rocking themself back and forth, holding their breath and biting their lip. Their fangs pierced the inside of their lip. It hurt, but being a vampire, they didn’t bleed. They could feel their body trying to heal itself. They bit their lip again.

Footsteps came towards the bathroom door. Fuck fuck fuck no. Benny knocked twice on the door, “Rory? Are you in there?” Xe sounded worried.

Rory scrambled to stand up, and turned toward the mirror to see how much it looked like they had been crying. No reflection, of course. They clumsily felt under their eyes, wiping the tears away. Their eyes were definitely puffy and red. They couldn’t go out like that. “Um yeah. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be out in a minute.” They bit a different part of the inside of their mouth, piercing it too.

“Are you sure?” Benny asked.

“Uh, yeah. I mean, it might be more than a minute or less than a minute, but I didn’t think you cared about technicalities like that.” Rory tried to laugh but it sounded forced.

“You know what I meant.” Xe said.

Rory took a deep breath, hoped it didn’t look like they had been crying, and opened the door. “See? I’m fine.” They walked back into Ethan’s bedroom, sitting back where they had been before. They tried to act like everything was fine and normal.

Ethan stood in the doorway, and he glanced at Rory before sharing a look with Benny. A pang of jealousy rang through Rory. They both broke the look, and walked towards Rory. Ethan got to them first, and grabbed their arm to pull them up. He and Benny deposited them on Ethan’s bed. Benny closed the door.

Ethan sat to their right. “You know you can talk to us about anything, right? Anything, no matter what.” He said.

Yeah right. Rory thought. “Is there a reason you guys are acting all weird?” Rory pulled back, trying to make themself small.

“Well…” Ethan trailed off.

Benny cleared xer throat. “You started acting weird all of a sudden, then you ran off to the bathroom, and we thought we heard…”

Ethan looked down at his hands. Benny inspected Rory’s face to try to figure out what they were thinking. It took them a second to figure out what Benny was implying.

“I wasn’t throwing up, if that’s what you’re thinking. I don’t have an eating disorder. I don’t think eating, or not eating, or throwing up, really, impacts the way my body at all. As long as I get enough blood, which I am, I’m fine.” Rory rambled. They weren’t sure if that’s what either of them thought, but it was safer to go with a truth.

Benny sighed.

“Are you sure? Like, do you know how food affects your body?” Asked Ethan.

“No Idea!” Rory tried to get back to their usual tone of voice, “But it’s been months and with a weird diet, so I think I’m fine!” Benny and Ethan still looked uneasy. “Hey what was that show you guys were talking about earlier? It sounded really good, and I don’t think I’ve seen it.”

“You haven’t seen it yet? Well we need to spend the rest of the night showing you it’s glory.” Said Ethan, eager to get back to normal conversation.

“I mean, I don’t need sleep so I’m down.” said Rory.

“Sleep is for the weak.” Said Ethan.

Rory and Ethan looked to Benny, “Uh, yeah, sure. Sounds good.” Xe sounded like xe were still concerned for Rory.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1097 words

Ethan fell asleep during episode two. Benny and Rory silently got off the bed, and laid Ethan down so he’d be comfortable. Rory had their eye glued to the episode the entire time, watching a kickass fight scene. Benny watched Rory most of the time.

Rory sat on the ground, back against the bed. Benny sat next to them, their arms touching. Rory pointed out the character that Benny saw xemself in. “He’s hot.” Rory whispered as the character annihilated the bad guys. 

Benny glanced at Rory’s face, which was transfixed in awe, lit by the blue glow of the screen. “Yeah.” breathed Benny, xer heart pounding in xer throat. Xe forced xemself to focus back on the screen. Xer favorite part of the episode was about to happen, anyway.

An episode and a half later, when the character Rory had called hot was being forced into a relationship with a woman by the writers, even though he was very clearly gay, Benny pretended to fall asleep. Xer eyelids were a little heavy, but mostly Xe just wanted to rest Xer head on Rory’s shoulder. Xe even deepend xer breaths to make it more believable.

As the credits rolled, Rory finally realized Benny was asleep, or at least that xe was pretending to be asleep. “Oops.” Rory muttered to themself. They gently laid Benny on the xer sleeping bag. Maybe Benny was reading too much into it, but xe could’ve sworn Rory was taking more care with xem than they did with Ethan. But it also wasn’t in the middle of an episode…

Rory placed a blanket on top of xem. “If sleep is for the weak, I’m the strongest one here.” they muttered. Benny could practically hear the grin that they certainly had on their face. Xe wanted to smile, but was able to keep a neutral face.

Benny might’ve actually fallen asleep, but xe were quickly awoken when xer ears picked up the faint sound of Ethan’s bedroom door closing. Xe opened xer eyes. The show had been paused at the beginning of seven. Ethan was still sound asleep. Snoring, even. And Rory wasn’t there. They must’ve gone downstairs or something, xe figured.

Ethan was a deep sleeper, so Benny didn’t need to be quiet, but xe was anyway. Xer eyes adjusted to the lack of light, and xe creeped down the stairs. Xe saw Rory, in the kitchen, going through the Morgan’s fridge. They sighed and walked over to the pantry, gently flicking the light on.

“Rory?” Benny made xemself known.

“Oh! Uh, hi Benny. I thought you were asleep.”

“I was. What are you doing? I thought you didn’t need to eat?”

Rory seemed to struggle to keep eye contact with Benny. “Oh, yeah I don’t. I just get bored, y’know? Especially when both you and Ethan are asleep. And I wouldn’t dare try to text Erica right now. I don’t want to know what she’s doing.” Rory laughed nervously.

“I don’t blame you.” Benny said. Xe didn’t know how to continue the conversation but xe wanted to.

Rory held up two boxes. “What do you recommend? The gummies or the Cheez-its?”

“Oh the gummies are awful, you definitely shouldn’t have them.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, Y’know I should really just eat them myself so the Morgans don’t have to worry about them.” Rory looked lost. “That was a joke. The gummies, uh. The gummies are really good and I want them all to myself, so I pretended that they were awful?” Benny tried to explain.

“Oh!” Rory finally caught up. “It didn’t work very well. ‘Cause you told me. I really would’ve just eaten the Cheez-its if you didn’t say anything.” Rory placed the Cheez-its box back on the shelf.

Benny shrugged. Xe couldn’t think of how to explain xer thought process without making it more awkward. Xe probably shouldn’t have said anything to begin with. Shit.

Rory turned off the light, and the two of them walked back up the stairs. They walked back into Ethan’s room, Ethan still fast asleep. They silently sat down, this time closer to each other than before, with the box in between them. Rory unpaused the show, and Ethan worried that they’d be able to hear how fast xer heart was beating, or feel how sweaty xe was. But luckily if they were, they didn’t show it.

Of course episode eight had the most scenes between the character Benny saw as xemself, and the character that reminded xem of Rory. Everyone involved with the show were clearly queerbaiting the two and it was annoying, but the scenes they had together made Benny feel fuzzy inside.

“I’ve already gotten my hopes up,” Rory started, “but please let me know if they end up together.” They whispered, glancing at Benny. Benny sadly shook xer head. “Damn it.” they muttered.

“Apparently they’re already filming season two, so hopefully they will in the next season.” Benny’s voice trembled. Xe weren’t sure why.

Rory laughed. “Doubtful.” They shook their head. “The queer rep on this show is awful. Like, they killed off the sapphic girl in, like, episode three, and she was a minor character too. And the only character that doesn’t use he/him or she/her is a robot? Um yeah, they use they/them, robots don’t have a gender that’s kinda the whole point. But they’re trying to pass them off as queer? No. It’s a robot!” Rory ranted, their voice gradually getting louder.

Benny glanced back at Ethan, who was still asleep. “I mean, yeah. I get that your rep is shitty, but at least you get some.”

“Fair enough. You’d think since it’s space, and, like, the future, there’d be someone who uses neopronouns. And there are aliens! How is there no real rep for us?”

“Because everyone involved is annoyingly cishet.” Benny said.

“The annoying is redundant.” Rory said flatly. Benny giggled. The laughter surprised xem. It sounded different from xer normal laugh.

“No, but really. I was watching an interview with their actors,” Benny pointed at the two men gazing deeply into each other’s eyes on screen, “and they said they hadn’t even considered the possibility of them being queer!”

“They were lying, no!” Rory denied.

“No really. I don’t usually press the dislike button on Youtube, but I did for those assholes.”

“As you should.” Rory replied.

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence. 

As Rory began the second half of the season, Benny began to fall asleep, for real this time. And this time Rory didn’t want xem to move.


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1470 words

By the time the sun rose, Rory had forgotten about their breakdown in the bathroom. Talking in the middle of the night with Benny had completely changed their point of view. They felt wanted now. A part of their brain that they had no control over creeped in, just to ask Rory how long it’ll last. How long will they feel this comfortable? It’s been getting shorter and shorter, and the time that they feel on the outside has only been getting longer. But they looked at Benny, who was on the ground next to them, and the thoughts disappeared.

Rory had intended to conveniently not move Benny’s head from his shoulder, so that in the morning Benny would wake up and Rory would be right there. Unfortunately the logical part of their brain had many points to argue against that decision. Prime of them being what Ethan would think if he awoke first. So, when Rory got tired of the gummies and decided to put them back in the Morgan’s pantry, they carefully laid Benny on xer sleeping bag.

Rory got up to close the curtains and wondered if Benny would remember the night. They really felt like there was something between them at the time, but now they’re not so sure. They want there to be something, but they don’t want to ruin their friendship.

Rory contemplated the implications, not noticing that Benny was very much awake and very much staring at them. And they continued to be oblivious when they sat down and got out their phone, and played mindless mobile games.

But Ethan noticed. He woke up silently, which was weird for him. Usually he quickly snapped out of sleep, or fell out of the bed. He noticed Benny, who thought he was asleep, was looking at Rory, who thought Benny was asleep. Ethan’s brain was too groggy to wonder why, so he pretended to wake up again, in a more usual fashion, falling out of bed.

He fell right next to Benny, who pretended to wake up because of Ethan’s crash. And Rory took their eyes off of their phone because of the crash.

“Ethan, are you okay?” Rory asked, walking over to help him up.

“My arm kind of hurts, but yeah.” He grunted.

“Okay cool.” When they noticed Benny was awake too they said, “Oh good you’re all up. I’m pretty sure your mom’s making pancakes and they smell sooooo good.” They smelled the air. “Is that blueberries?”

“Pancakes? Mom never makes pancakes.” Said Ethan.

“They might be waffles, the batter all smells the same.” said Rory.

Benny giggled, although xe didn’t seem to be sure why. “Whatever it is, I want some now.” Xe held out their hand, hoping one of the other two would help xem up. Rory did.

The trio paraded downstairs.

“Good morning, boys!” Ethan’s mom said upon seeing them.

“Not a boy.” Said Rory.

“Not a boy today.” Benny said right after them.

“Right, right.” She paused a moment to find the right words, “Good morning, kids.” Benny gave her a thumbs up. “Are you guys going to be hanging around the house today? I can say guys, right?”

“Guys is fine, Ms. Morgan. I can’t, I have family stuff later.” Said Rory, before they shoved half a waffle in their mouth.

“Oh anything fun?” Asked Ms. Morgan.

“Unless you count cleaning the entire house as fun, no.” Rory rolled their eyes.

“Mom…” Ethan said, clearly getting annoyed that his mom was trying to have a conversation with his friends.

“Okay, okay, Ethan. But cleaning doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea.” She said as she left the room.

Ethan ignored her. “How many episodes did you watch last night, Rory?”

Rory glanced at Benny, who was eating a blueberry waffle with eyes half open. “I stopped at the end of ten. It’s weird that there’s seventeen episodes.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure why they did that. When do you have to leave?”

Rory checked their phone. “Like, half an hour? I don’t know, I just don’t want my mom to yell at me.”

“I got like no sleep last night so I should probably go home soon too.” Said Benny.

“Aw come on guys, we usually spend the day hanging out. Don’t be lame.”

“Sometimes it’s necessary to be lame.” Benny said in a monotone.

Rory nodded. “I should probably head out now. Sorry Ethan.”

Ethan sighed. “It’s alright I guess. Do you need a ride?”

“Nah, I can run. See you guys on Monday!”

Benny and Ethan glumly waved goodbye. Rory turned and exited the Morgan house, putting their sunglasses on. They strolled along the sidewalk until they were sure they were out of sight of Ethan’s house, then they began to run. Being a vampire, they ran very fast, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t hard to run. Rory ran out of breath by the time they got to their street, so they just finished by walking home.

They sighed and walked into their home. Rory waved off their mother, they already knew what they needed to clean. They put on their headphones, and scrolled until they found the playlist Benny had shared with them a few weeks prior.

A smile was on their face as they thought of Benny.

* * *

Benny took xer time finishing breakfast. Xe knew Ethan didn’t particularly like being by himself, and that both xem and Rory leaving so soon was disappointing. But Benny had sacrificed precious sleep to talk to Rory one on one. Xe wondered why xe had never made time to do that before. Xe liked being around Rory. Xe liked being around just Rory. Xe liked Rory.

“Ethan?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I have a crush on Rory.”

Ethan sat with his mouth open. “Oh, um…”

Benny’s heart beat quickly. Xe had never really crushed on a friend before, and xe was worried what xer best friend would think. Xe didn’t want to ruin the trio. “I want to be more than friends with them.” Xe said softly.

“Do you know if they like you? I mean, like, like like, not just like.” Asked Ethan.

“I don’t know. I mean, I hope so but I have no idea. Have you ever gotten the vibe that they might like me?”

“Uh, not really, but I also wasn’t really looking for it. I mean usually it’s pretty obvious when they like someone.”

“Yeah, but that’s always with people we don’t know. When there’s no real consequence if they reject them.” Said Benny.

“You think they’re scared of losing you as a friend?” Ethan asked.

“Maybe.” Benny ran xer fingers through xer hair.

Ethan took out his phone. “Hey, Rory. Just checking in after last night. If anything is actually wrong, you can let me know.” He spoke as he texted. “That sound good?” He asked Benny.

“Maybe add a ‘and we can talk about it if you want.’ to the end?”

“Okay… and sent.”

“But why are you texting them that? Like couldn’t you just ask about who they have a crush on?”

“Benny, we don’t ever talk like that. It’d sound weird. And you remember how it sounded like they were crying? If they were, maybe they were worried about potentially losing you as a friend because they have a crush on you.”

“There are quite a few logical leaps there.” Benny said skeptically.

“Oh just trust me.” He checked his phone. “They texted back! “It’s nothing really. I was just remembering all my old friends and how they now hate me. I hope that you guys never feel that way about me lol.””

“Let me see that.” Said Benny. Ethan handed his phone to xem. “But what does that mean?”

Ethan grabbed his phone back. “If you let me ask…” He began typing. “We could never hate you. Do you wanna talk about it more or are you good?”

“They’re not going to say anything else.” Said Benny. Xe stood up and started pacing.

“I’ve just kinda been feeling like you guys might start ignoring me soon.” Ethan read. “Like I might accidentally do something to fuck it all up.” He read a second text. “That totally means, they’re into you!” Ethan stood up.

Benny started celebrating before Xe realized- “Wait. What if that means they’re into you?”

Ethan raised an eyebrow. “Have you seen me? Absolutely not.”

“C’mon man, you’re totally crushworthy.” Benny tried to convince him.

“Yeah, which is why the only time anyone’s ever had a crush on me was when you used magic.” Said Ethan. “And before you argue with me, just shoot your shot! They’re definitely into you. 100% guarantee.”

Benny considered it. “Okay. But if they break my heart I’m blaming it on you.”

“That doesn’t make sense at all.” Complained Ethan.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1002 words

By first period on Monday, Rory’s insecurities were back. They thought there might’ve been a chance that Benny had asked Ethan to try to figure out what they were crying about early that night, and they thought that maybe, possibly, it was because Benny was trying to figure out if they had a crush on xem.

But that was completely ridiculous and almost definitely untrue. Their brain punished them for having such silly thoughts. It was stupid of them to ever think that they could have a relationship with Benny. Benny clearly didn’t like them, and if they even hinted that they liked xem, it would ruin the relationship. Then Ethan would probably stop talking to Rory, Sarah never really cared for them that much but she’d probably actively avoid them, and Erica would do whatever Sarah did. Rory was starting to dislike the fact that Erica was dating Sarah. Erica was never the kindest friend, but she’d always been there for them, no matter how reluctantly.

Rory looked around the classroom. Everyone in there was either an ex-friend, or someone they never wanted to be friends with. They sighed and turned up their music louder, to drown out the noises of the classroom. They didn’t even bother listening to their teacher. They didn’t need it anyway.

Rory was at their locker during class change, to avoid going into second period for as long as possible. Benny and Ethan were in there. Rory had already decided to start distancing themself to that hopefully it hurt less when they stopped talking entirely. They flipped through a notebook, looking at the doodles in the margins.

“Hey.” Someone said behind the. Rory, still listening to music, wasn’t entirely sure that they actually heard anyone, or that that person was talking to them, so they didn’t look up. “Rory?” The same voice said, a little louder this time.

They pulled an earbud out and looked up. Heart fluttering, they said, “Oh, uh, hi Benny!”

Benny seemed nervous about something. Fuck, xe found out about Rory’s crush. They weren’t emotionally prepared for this yet. “So, uh. The other day I realized that whenever we hang out, the others are also around.” And you want to keep it that way? Rory thought. “And, I don’t know, I thought it’d be cool if we could hang out, like just us.”

Rory narrowed their eyes. Was this a trick? “Okay…?”

Benny rubbed the back of xer neck. “Do you wanna hang out today?”

This was a trick. It had to be a trick. Xe was lulling them into a false sense of security so it would hurt more, right? Deciding to try to be the normal, funny Rory, they said, “Lucky for you tonight’s the only day I don’t have a date with a hot babe, so I can come.” They cringed on the inside as they saw Benny’s reaction. That was not the right thing to say. But Rory rarely ever said the right thing.

The warning bell rang.

“Okay, uh cool. See you after school?” Said Benny.

Rory shut their locker. “Yup.”

* * *

Benny didn’t know what to think. On the one hand, xe and Rory were going to be alone together, on the other hand, Rory didn’t consider xem to be a hot babe. Did Benny want to be considered a hot babe? Maybe. Xe wasn’t sure.

Or maybe they did consider xem a hot babe but didn’t want to say it? Why is this all so hard? Benny thought.

It certainly wasn’t helping that Rory sat right next to xem in that class. Benny was over analyzing every movement they made. And they made a lot of movements.

What were xe going to do after school? Were xe just going to pretend like it’s a normal hangout, and wait until a different time to reveal xer feelings? Maybe xe’d wait until later, so Rory could leave if they didn’t feel the same way and it would be less awkward. How were xe going to tell them? Probably just by saying that xe liked them, but Benny really wanted to kiss them. That probably wouldn’t be cool, to just kiss them, though. Maybe xe’d try to be more smooth, and when they were close together, xe’d say in a whisper, “Can I kiss you?” and they would and then they’d start making out and it’d be really hot, because Rory’s really hot, and then --

“Weir! Do I need to repeat the question?” Benny snapped out of xer thoughts. Xer wonderful thoughts.

Xe glanced around the classroom. Nearly everyone was staring at him. Two girls in the front of the class whispered something and giggled. “Uh, no. I was obviously paying attention. I was just working it out, y’know. Uh, X definitely equals 13.”

The teacher raised their eyebrow. “Really? Because when I worked the problem out with the class, we determined that Sally was the one with more pumpkins.” Fuck. The rest of the class laughed at xem. “It would benefit you greatly to stay in the real world during my class.”

Benny nodded and turned xer eyes down to xer paper. Xe wrote down the name Sally for question 3.

Rory leaned in to whisper something to xem, and Benny felt xer heart beat faster. “She totally only called on you to make an example out of you. So rude.”

“Yeah, and embarrassing for me.” Xe whispered back.

“Weir, Keaner. Pay attention.” the teacher yelled.

Rory looked at Benny and rolled their eyes. Benny grinned. But then xe felt their face beginning to warm, so xe turned xer face back toward the worksheet, hoping Rory didn’t see xer blushing. But Benny put on blush that morning, so if Rory asks about it, xe’ll just say it’s that. Yeah, that’ll work. It’s just makeup. Nothing else. Definitely not because like a minute ago xe were thinking of their lips on xer’s. Not that at all. And xer definitely not thinking about that again now. Nope, not at all.


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 960 words

Benny met them outside their last period classroom. The butterflies in their stomach started flying around again. They hadn’t noticed earlier but xer makeup looked really good today. Like, especially good. It always looks good, but today it’s better.

Rory walked next to Benny on the sidewalk. They were unsure of what to do with their hands, so they shoved them in their pockets. Benny was complaining about their second period teacher. Rory wasn’t exactly paying attention to what xe were saying, but xer voice was just so nice. They could listen to it all day. Rory let out a deep breath. They were suddenly grateful for the sunglasses, because they were pretty sure that if Benny looked them in the eyes now, their pupils would be in the shape of hearts.

All day, Rory had stopped themself from thinking about what they’d do at Benny’s house, in order to not get their hopes up, but they couldn’t stop themself now. They hoped it was kissing. Maybe a little bit of talking about feelings, but mostly kissing.

“So is your lit class doing the project too?” Benny asked.

“If you’re talking about the stupid one where we have to write about a “meaningful time in our life” then yes.” Rory said with disgust. “Are you going to have to read it in front of the class, too?”

“What, she didn’t mention that!”

“Yeah, she said she forgot to tell all the other classes that.”

“So not only does she want us to write about our trauma, she wants us to let the entire class in on it, uh no that does not sound fun.” Said Benny.

“I’m probably going to make something up.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t wanna talk about something real. Maybe I’ll pretend that I was really impacted by that one time I went to the circus. I’ve been terrified of clowns since.” Rory said.

“You’ve gone to the circus before?”

“No.” Rory laughed.

The two of them arrived at Benny’s house.

* * *

Was it too much to immediately bring Rory up to xer room? Would that scare them? Would xe come off too strong?

“Hey can we grab some snacks?” Rory asked, making the decision for xem.

“Sure. What do you want?” They walked over to the pantry.

Rory licked their lips looking at all the food and Benny melted a little. “Popcorn?”

Popcorn? Where they both would be reaching into the bowl to grab pieces and their hands accidentally touch, and then they look into each other’s eyes, and then they push the popcorn out of the way and start kissing, and then they- “Yeah, that sounds good right now.” Xe grabbed one of the microwavable packets. Xe really needed to stop xer mind from wandering. Especially when it probably wasn’t going to happen.

* * *

Rory couldn’t stop thinking about holding hands with Benny. They specifically picked popcorn, not because they wanted to eat, or even because they were craving the food, but because their and Benny’s hands might touch if they grab for the popcorn at the same time. And then if they did, Rory would blurt out their feelings, and Benny would totally feel the same and they’d hold hands. Or Benny wouldn’t feel the same at all and would yell at them to get out of xer house and never talk to xem again. It could go either way. And Rory was a bit high on adrenaline, so they were ready to run in headfirst to whatever was going to happen.

“Do you need to do homework or anything?” Benny asked.

“Nah, nothing that’s due tomorrow is required.”

“Okay, good.” Said Benny. The microwave dinged.

Rory looked around Benny’s kitchen. They realized that they had never actually been to Benny’s house. They were expecting it to look more magical.

“Wanna go up to my room?” Benny asked.

“Okay.” Xer room?? Rory tried to calm themself down.

* * *

Benny led Rory into xer room and excused xemself to the bathroom. Xe looked in the mirror at xer nervous face. Xe smoothed xer hair and tried to take deep breaths. “I can do this.” Xe muttered. “I can tell them how I feel.”

Xe grabbed xer phone and sent a quick text to Ethan. “I’m gonna try to tell Rory. Wish me luck.” it read.

Ethan sent back two thumbs up emojis and said, “You got this!!”

Benny looked at xer reflection, and tried to feel confident. Xe pushed xer shoulders back and took a shaky breath.

Xe walked back into xer bedroom, trying to remain casual. Rory was sitting on xer bed. Of course, that’s the most convenient place to sit, but still. Xe couldn’t help but think...

Xe sat next to them, legs touching. Xe reached into the bowl of popcorn, hoping that would calm xer nerves.

Rory reached in at the same time. They looked up at Benny.

Benny’s heart beat in xer throat. “I like you!” Xe blurted.

* * *

It had happened. Their hands had touched, just like Rory thought they might. They looked up at Benny, who was looking at them.

“I have a crush on you!” They said, without thinking.

“I like you!” Benny had said at the same time.

Rory felt like they might faint. “Really?” Their voice cracked. They blushed in embarrassment.

“You like me too?” Benny asked, in disbelief.

Rory looked down at their hands. They grabbed Benny’s hand. “I thought it was kinda obvious.”

Benny looked at their hands, then at their face. “Can I kiss you?” Xe asked, xer voice cracking as well. Xe coughed to try to cover it up.

A million thoughts ran through Rory’s mind, but they ignored all of them, and just grabbed Benny’s face and kissed xem. Xer lips were a soft bliss.


End file.
